The Chances

How a 250+ Pound Couch Potato Got Healthy

Sunday, December 07, 2008

The Man in Black (Tights)

Yes, it's true. I now own some tights.

Friday I didn't work out because there was just too many things to do at work. We're getting a 3-workstation office together, with all the trimmings. I figured hey, I could use the extra hour, and with Saturday's long run, it'll be no sweat.

With the long anticipated arrival of the cold weather, the long-sleeve compression shirts I've been wearing have really made a difference in my upper body, so why not duplicate that with the lower half as well?

On the way home, I stopped by Fleet Feet to pick up a couple of gels for Saturday, and while there I figured I'd look at some tights. The second I walked in the front door I was accosted by a seemingly helpful employee, so I figured what the hey, and asked him about them.

He showed me two pairs. One was by Saucony, the other I have no idea the brand. The Sauconys were $75, and the other brand was $65! A little steeper than I was hoping for, especially since the compression shirts I'd bought prior were about $12 apiece (six of them from Target for my Mt. Whitney trip, and one Nike shirt from Ross). Once I saw the price, I told him that it looked like Christmas List material, which prompted him to run and answer the phone. Figured.

At the register with my gels, I took a chance and talked to the girl about my tendency to look up. Pat over at Pat's Running Blog mentioned that I look up when I run, which I had noticed, too. Not near as bad as Fernando Valenzuela, but it did make me wonder. So I asked, what do you think about this looking up thing? She sort of stared into space for a few seconds, then told me, "Yoga's really helped me." Yeah, I'll get right on that.

Anyway, I walked out the door having spent my $3 on gels, and drove home. There was a bit of fog. More than a bit, really. See, my commute is the stretch of road between Sacramento and Marysville. Once I leave I-5, I can head up either 99 or 70, but both go through that stretch of farmland that always makes me wish I lived closer to home. This time of year, it's one giant stretch of fog with visibility at about 5 to 10 feet at times. This was one of those times.

So I made the decision not to do my long run Saturday morning. I think I've mentioned this before, but there's no route I can run from my house that returns me there without running at least a half mile to a mile of a road whose speed limit is 35, but people love to drive 70 on. It's dangerous enough in the daytime, but in the dark it can be tricky. I have my headlamp, which helps tremendously while running, but in the fog AND night? Fuggedaboutit!

The temp had also gotten down to about 38 degrees, and while I realize that some of you folks who live in places like Chicago or Boston think that's perfect running weather, for us folks out here in CA, it's cold! I decided that if I couldn't run, I could at least quest for tights. I told my wife I wanted to go to Target, which made her happy, since she loves that place.

They had every size BUT mine. That's what happens when you're 5'nothing. Remind me to rant about how the problems I have with sizes now that I've lost weight is completely opposite of the way it used to be.

Anyway, Saturday night was the Christmas parade in Marysville, which my son and his Cub Scout troop were in. As his Designated Parent, that meant I'd be joining in as well (see my tweets about the subject if you're interested). I picked him up early and got to torture him while I looked at Walmart, Ross, and Kohl's, along with a side trip to GNC while at the mall. Nada.

So today, I tricked my wife into going to Target in Roseville by tempting her with visits to Whole Foods and Barnes & Noble. Before we left town though, I went by Big 5 and bought some Hind Not So Tight Tights for $20. Women's tights, sure, but not too bad.

At Target, I was experiencing the same problem as my local Target, but after about 5 minutes circling the rack, I found what I was looking for, some Champions. And $20, too! Oh, happy day! So I ended up with two pairs of tights, which will keep me going at very least for the long runs.

Interestingly enough, the Champion tights have this stitched outline of my crotch. How is that functional?

Once home, I tried both pairs on. The women's tights were exactly as advertised, being not so tight. They're slightly thicker than the Target ones, but can barely be considered tights. Now, the Champions from Target?

My son's said to me, "Wow, dad, you look like one of those muscle guys!" Then a few minutes later: "I see peenie!"

My 3-year-old daughter was a little nicer. We were getting ready for dinner at the time, and she asked, "Superman, you be eating wif me?"

I won't get a chance to wear either pair until Tuesday's weekday run, but you know what? I'll be wearing shorts over them. No chance am I letting my boss see peenie.

4 comments:

Marcy said...

ROFLMAO at your son! Too funny!

Chad in the AZ Desert said...

You will find those tights a big benefit. Keeping your legs warm when it is cold out will make the running feel easier and help prevent pulled muscles.

Pat said...

now that was a funny post. Twitter confuses me. I guess I'm old.

Darrell said...

My wife threatened divorce if I ever wore tights. LOL!